The story of Deuteronomy chapter 1 is frighteningly similar to my own walk with the Lord and, I'd imagine, the walk of many other believers as well. Slowly by slowly, I am learning that although my relationship with God is a personal one, there is nothing wholly unique about it. I will never walk down a road or experience something that someone has not first encountered before me.
So here is Israel, delivered from the bondage of Egypt after some 400 years, through miraculous signs and wonders. No one could deny that it was Almighty God who brought them out; the gods of the Egyptians were powerless to stop Him. Nor could the Israelites deny that it was God who brought them through the wilderness. They had the daily reminder of a cloud by day and a pillar of fire by night to recall the hand of God on their camp, should they ever forget who had done all of these things. The only part that Israel had to play in this unfolding drama was to obey. The Lord didn't ask for their resources, creativity or skills; He simply wanted them their obedience to His command. Stay inside your houses and put the blood of the slain, unblemished lamb on the posts of your doors. Trust that the Angel of Death will pass over you. Go out and fight in battles in which you are out manned and out artillaried (is that a word?), and trust that I will do the fighting for you. Go with no food and trust that I will provide the bread that will sustain your bodies. Do as I say and trust Me. Thus far, He had not failed them. But as they stood on the property line of their inheritance, with their toes hanging over the edge of the Promised Land, they doubted. They allowed their hearts to become discouraged and their minds caught up in the giants that stood before them.
But Moses said to them:
"Do not be terrified, or afraid of them. The Lord your God, who goes before you, He will fight for you, according to all that He did for you in Egypt before your eyes, and int he wilderness where you saw how the Lord you God carried you, as a man carries his son, in all the way that you went until you came to this place. Yet for all that, you did not believe the Lord your God, who went in the way before you to search out a place for you to pitch your tents, to show you the way you should go, in the fire by night and the cloud by day."
Wait! The Lord went before them, fought for them, and even carried them, and they still found reason not to believe? It is easy to point the proverbial finger at them and demean them for their lack of belief, but how often have I allowed my own momentary circumstances and present problems overshadow what I know to be the faithfulness of God in my life. Unfortunately, more often than I care to admit. Let's be real, a year ago, I never would have imagined that God's plan for me would be to spend 6 months in Uganda, working with and serving alongside some of the most incredible, amazing people I have ever met. I would never have imagined the freedom the Lord would have produced in my own personal life, as He set me free from my own self-made prisons. I would have never believed the relationships that would be strengthened, and those that would be destroyed, as these things began to take place. And I would have never conceived the joy of living life in His presence and learning to abandon myself to His will. Yet here I am, and it was all God. I did nothing to force His hand in any way, other than chose to believe His promise was true and faithful. Sometimes I think He not only got me to this place (both metaphorically and literally) not only despite myself, but sometimes in spite of myself.
I bring so little to the table. All that God asks of me is my life. That sounds costly, but only until I realize that my life is not my own. The moment "I gave my life to the Lord" He took possession. He now owns it. He paid the bill on it, and it stands to reason that He owns the title and rights as well. How can I attempt to hold back from Him what is not mine to keep and what is His to have?
"Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? for you were bought at a price, therefore glorify God with your body and with your spirit, which are God's." 1 Corinthians 6:19-20
I think of Paul's statement in to his "son" Timothy, as he recalled what the Lord had brought him through and the confidence he had that God would continue to bring him through all present and future trouble. Think about it, if any one had reason to question God it was Paul. The man was beaten, stoned, shipwrecked, thrown into prison, rejected by both his brethren and the Gentiles, deserted by friends, bitten by snakes. . .but in the end, God caused him to stand fast. Paul understood the promise that Jesus had made, in this world we will have tribulations. Not one of the promises we prefer to meditate on, but it is a promise nonetheless. Expect trouble and trial, but know that the promise comes with an assurance also, be of good cheer, for I have overcome the world. When fearful situation come my way, and my own hearts wants to rebel and despair at them, may I remember that if I only keep my eyes on Jesus, I can walk on water too!
"But the Lord stood with me and strengthened me, so that the message might be fully preached through me, and that all the Gentiles might hear. Also I was delivered out of the mouth of the lion. And the Lord will deliver me from every evil work and preserve me for His heavenly kingdom. To Him be glory forever and ever. Amen!" 2 Timothy 4:17-18
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